I finally got a memorial tattoo in honor of my daughter, Kelsey.  I had written previously about getting a memorial tattoo as a creative way to honor her memory. But it is also a a permanent reminder that Kelsey is always with me.

Since this was not my first tattoo, getting a memorial tattoo was an easy decision to make. My journey of tattooing began much later in life as my personal response to dealing with my daughter’s addiction.

My father had a tattoo on his right bicep that intrigued me from a young age.  The Navy Anchor was a reminder of his enlistment at age 17 to fight in World War II.  I think tracing those faded blue lines with my finger might have, subconsciously, influenced my decision to get a tattoo. Wanting to celebrate my 60th birthday with a tattoo, I did the logical thing and got it when I was 59. But at age 59, I knew where my true inspiration was coming from

My Tattoo Of Hope

Since the day I discovered my daughter was suffering from a heroin addiction, I always had hope.  I knew I would never, ever give up hope that she would recover.  So, for my first tattoo, I got the word HOPE on my wrist.  My son came with me and so began a mother/son bonding ritual as we continued getting tattoos together.

Kelsey’s addiction escalated and every day I asked my Higher Power to give me strength to deal with her disease.  Thus, the inspiration for my next tattoo.

And as I began to grow spiritually, my third tattoo was inspired by the OM symbol and Lotus flower.  OM representing the one-ness of all creation and the Lotus Flower representing spiritual enlightenment and the heart opening to new beginnings.

My Memorial Tattoo

But, little did I know that my next tattoo would be a memorial tattoo.

Kelsey once showed me the Buddhist symbol for “impermanence.”  She thought it would make a cool tattoo.  It was beautiful and colorful, just like Kelsey.  The two of us were going to get tattoos together but we never got the timing right. 

And now that she’s gone, the meaning of this Buddhist symbol is especially ironic.  I knew this would be the tattoo I’d be getting in honor of Kelsey.  And when I started my blog, I felt this symbol would make a perfect Logo.

There Are No Coincidences

Appointment day finally arrived and my son and I were ready with designs in hand.  Shane, our tattoo artist, offered suggestions, support and shared in our feelings that these tattoos were meaningful to us.

I added the word Anicca (the Pali word for impermanence) to my design and the last two numbers of Kelsey’s year of birth and death. As I sat in the chair, stencil mark of the tattoo on my arm, Shane’s needle was ready to go. As he was doing the last of many verbal re-checks, Jesse called my attention to the stencilled numbers on my arm.  He noticed the year of death was wrong. How could that be? That date was, unfortunately, engrained in my memory. And in that moment, we all felt Kelsey’s intervention. I was sure Kelsey had nudged Jesse to notice the mistake. And by doing so, helped me avoid the heartbreak of having the wrong date tattooed on my arm.

As I was admiring my tattoo in the mirror, another artist in the shop came over for a look.  She commented how she’d done the same tattoo on a client several months previous. Isn’t it odd that only a few minutes before we walked into the shop that client called to book another appointment? Since I don’t believe in coincidences, I knew it was another sign that Kelsey was with us.  And, just in case we still didn’t notice she was there, the artist working directly next to Shane was named Kelsey.  

Carving an image, picture or quote on your body with ink requires a certain level of commitment because of its permanence.  But it’s also a great way to express yourself and honor the memory of someone you love.  I love my tattoo and its meaning.  And I love that Jesse wanted to honor his sister with a beautiful tattoo on his back. 

I wish you inspiration and peace if you decide to get a memorial tattoo to honor your child or loved one you have lost.

Karen

10 Things To Consider Before Getting A Tattoo:

• Do your research about the tattoo artist.
• Ask for artist recommendations from family or friends.
• Ask yourself if getting a tattoo is an impulse.  You want to be sure.
• Consider your design and placement beforehand.
• Consider the meaning behind the tattoo.
• Can you look at it for the rest of your life?
• Ask yourself how you’ll be feeling if you don’t like it?
• Some tattoo artists can be pretty pricy but it’s worth it if you trust the artist.
• You might want to consider bringing a friend for support.
• Make sure you are doing this for yourself and no one else.