1 1 Coping Strategies To Deal With Grief

I’ve compiled a list of 11 coping strategies to deal with grief.  If you’ve been following my blog, then some of these strategies will be familiar.  I’ve written about them in depth.  However, I wanted to make a list that was more easily accessible for you to reference.

Dealing with the loss of our child is not easy, as we all know.  And dealing with grief on any level is not easy.  As grievers, many of us rely on strategies to help us get through the pain.  We may not even know it’s a strategy.   But if it eases the pain a little, helps us manage our feelings or allows us to feel some comfort in any way, then it’s a strategy.

Here is the list of 11 Strategies To Deal With Grief that have been beneficial in my healing and hopefully in yours.

1. Professional Counseling

When we’re grieving, it can be very helpful to reach out and get professional counseling.  This has been one of the best strategies I’ve used to help deal with my grief.  And I was lucky to find a therapist who specialized in grief.

Do your research and look for a therapist who has experience in counseling clients who are grieving or has a background in grief therapy.  A professional can be objective, offer support, provide strategies and give a different perspective about our grief that maybe we weren’t able to recognize.  If you go into it with an open heart and mind, then professional counseling will be beneficial.

2. Talking About Your Grief

I’m a strong believer in talking through your feelings.  Whether it’s anger, frustration, disappointment or sadness, talking about it is always the best solution.  If we hold our feelings of grief inside ourselves, they fester.  We might think we’ve dealt with those feelings but they’re actually buried in our subconscious.  And eventually, they will come out.  These unspoken feelings of grief can arise years from now and in ways we may never expect. 

So why do that to ourselves?  As painful as it may be, let’s talk about the grief we’re feeling over the loss of our child in the here and now. It’s been a help to me and I hope it will help you too.

3. Journaling

Writing is a great way to process your feelings of grief.  Whether you enjoy writing or not, putting pen to paper just feels good.  And it doesn’t matter how many words you write or for how long, it’s another outlet to express how you’re feeling.  Buying that perfect notebook and a colorful pen to write with can be inspiring.

I journaled my feelings during the years of Kelsey’s addiction.  And now I’m journaling my  feelings during this year of Kelsey’s death. It was difficult rereading those journal entries from years ago but, in a way, it was comforting. I’m hoping that when I’m ready to read these current entries, I’ll find some comfort in reading them.

4. Honoring Your Child

It felt important for me to “honor” Kelsey at various times throughout this past year.  Especially, since it was the first year of her passing.  Every month on that “date,” the pain escalated.  So, if I did a little something to honor her on that day, it made me feel better. Remembering Kelsey by doing something special on holidays and other special days helps keep her memory alive.  But I’ve been realizing that we have to do whatever feels right for us at the time. And sometimes it’s doing absolutely nothing and that’s okay too.

5. Making A Music Playlist

Listening to music has always been a part of my life.  So when Kelsey passed, music played an important role in helping me grieve.  In my post, “How Music Can Help Heal Grief,” I write in detail about making a playlist of some of my daughter’s favorite music.   And how listening to her music has been integral in taking those first steps towards healing. 

At the beginning of my grief journey, I was looking for anything to get rid of the pain.  Nothing ever did, of course.  But, making this playlist of the music Kelsey loved, helped ease the pain. I don’t listen to her music nearly as much as I used to.  But when I do, I can listen without that incredibly heavy feeling of sadness weighing me down.  I guess that means I’m healing a bit.

Listen to music your child loved.  Maybe it will help ease your pain.

6. Exercising

Any type of exercise is good for the body and the soul.  Exercising releases endorphins that can trigger positive feelings in the brain that help combat feelings of anxiety and depression.  Walking was the exercise that helped me.  Besides having these benefits, it allowed me to “walk with my grief” and helped me heal. 

7. Reading Books

Reading books about grief, healing, loss and mindfulness were very helpful. I read personal stories of grief and books about the afterlife and what happens to our energy when we are no longer here on earth. I read books about being in the present moment and how living in the “now” allows us to heal. I think reading books about how to deal with grief is just another tool or strategy we can use to help us in our own journey.

8. Creating a Sacred Space

I still get such a warm feeling when I sit at the desk in my office where I created my sacred space for Kelsey.  Finding a small space in your home where you can be surrounded by objects and reminders of your child can be comforting.  It’s that place where you can sit, feel your child’s energy and remember. Those positive and beautiful memories of our child help us get through.

9. Making Art

When we’re being creative, it can boost your spirit and your soul.  That’s how I felt when I made mixed media art this past year.  Although I wasn’t creating art to remember Kelsey or making art that was about Kelsey, it was still a way to help with my grief.  Being creative was another outlet I used that helped release some of the pain inside. It allows you to escape the past and future and to be present in the now of your creation.

10. Emotional Support from Family and Friends

This is an important one.  I’ve read posts from people who share how their “friends” were unkind, abandoned them or judged how they were grieving.  I’m blessed to have a very strong support system between my family and my friends.  I have people around me with whom I can easily share my grief.  These trusted friends allow me to speak my grief without judgment, suggestion or telling me what I should be doing. They are supporting me emotionally when I need it the most.

Surround yourself with people who will be there for you emotionally whenever you need it.  It’s very important. 

1 1. Grief And Loss Quotes

There are so many wonderful quotes out there about grief and loss.  What I like about these quotes is that they are able to sum up how I may be feeling in just a few words.  Anytime I would read one of these quotes, it just made me feel better. Someone was able to say how I was feeling. These quotes continue to offer me comfort.

One Of These Strategies Might Help Your Grief

So using these 11 strategies to help deal with grief has helped immensely in coping with the loss of my daughter. I believe that it’s important to try and help ourselves get through this grief the best that we can.  But I do know that everyone has their own journey and each person’s grief is their own.

I recall telling a friend right after Kelsey passed, that I didn’t want to be stuck in my grief for years like some people were.  I think I was feeling a great sense of panic that I was going to be lying in my bed forever unable to ever get up. But I realized early on that I had the power of choice and I could choose how I was going to grieve. If I didn’t want to get stuck in my grief, then I could choose to not let that happen. And that’s why these strategies worked for me.

Certainly, I’m not judging anyone who is in pain and grieving. Grief has no timeline or right way to do it. I just do what feels right for me at the time. But maybe one of these strategies might help you when you need it.

Thanks for reading.

Karen